I know it’s not Father’s Day, but it’s always important to pay respect to yours. How will you honor your father today? I will honor mine by sending him a sweet message on Myspace.
Kirby immediately went home and died of autoerotic asphyxiation. He died with a lot more dignity than his father ever will.
Swinging never goes well. It ruins marriages and spawns serial killers. Yep, it’s fun.
The Shining is probably my favorite movie I have never watched all the way through in one sitting. You, on the other hand, are my least favorite person I cannot possibly sit through an entire conversation with.
Finally, Megan’s break from slutting around and studying again has had a positive effect on her life. Too bad she still has chlamydia.
You know you’re dressed inappropriately when your dad can see your pedals.
I never liked playing Truth or Dare because I was never dared to kiss anyone cute and always forced to speak very self-deprecating truths.
What’s more wrong: eating the accidentally cooked dog or just dumping the accidentally cooked dog into the trash?
Christmas is only days away and I haven’t watched Home Alone. Considering my social life, I’m pretty much living it.
I know what you’re thinking–such a stoic squirrel in the lower left hand corner.