Swinging never goes well. It ruins marriages and spawns serial killers. Yep, it’s fun.
Life is tough for the Whitens. They only have one couch and their TV isn’t even flat.
The Shining is probably my favorite movie I have never watched all the way through in one sitting. You, on the other hand, are my least favorite person I cannot possibly sit through an entire conversation with.
“We could all use a little change.” – the fat guy from Smashmouth
I know what you’re thinking–such a stoic squirrel in the lower left hand corner.
The real reason Megan can’t go to college is because her mother knows she’ll just end up dead at 25 anyway.
Podcasts are like hand jobs; everyone can just do it themselves so why bother getting involved in someone else’s? Something like that.
This is why you shouldn’t use the Internet. Seriously. Break your computer right now.
Happy Thanksgiving! The only thing I’m thankful for is being exceptionally skilled at avoiding everyone I know from ever meeting each other. Even my mom and dad aren’t sure what the other looks like.
For me, you dames better load up that face with makeup or put on a paper bag.